


Stronger Than Me

by grayangel



Series: Wires [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Emotions, Fingerfucking, First Time, M/M, Unintentionally, it got a little deep there at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:10:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayangel/pseuds/grayangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After hooking up in the alley behind the pub, Steve and Bucky retire back to Steve's private room. Bucky wants Steve to make him forget everything that happened to him. They missed each other a whole lot. </p><p>Set during CA: TFA</p><p>•••</p><p>"You want me to do that to you?" he murmured into Bucky's jaw.</p><p>Bucky made a sound that would have been embarrassingly needy if he weren't so turned on right now, and he found himself nodding fervently. "Yeah, baby, fuck — I want it, want you to fuck me."</p><p>"Yeah?" Steve's voice was soft and there was a sort of wonder in it. His fingers moved deeper, unrelentingly, drawing a long moan from Bucky. "Fuck, you look so beautiful like this. I wanna make you feel good, Buck, help me make you feel good . . ."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stronger Than Me

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [The One and Only](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3113270). 
> 
> Apparently I have a thing for talking during sex.

Steve's room was nothing fancy, but it was all his own and the door had a lock, and that was all that really mattered.

They'd gone back inside and spent another hour or so of drinking and socializing, and it was one of the hardest things Bucky had ever done because he had to work so hard _not_ to think about what he and Steve had just done in the alley, _not_ not to keep staring at Steve's perfect fucking body under that goddamn uniform and _not_ to start fantasizing about what he wanted to do to his friend when he got him alone again because popping a boner in front of all his fellow soldiers was not a predicament he would be in any way capable of explaining.

Steve was a little awkward at first. He shut and locked the door and then sort of hovered, as though unsure what he was supposed to do next. Bucky wasn't really surprised; he knew Steve was completely inexperienced and had already gone further with Bucky than he had with anyone else, and also couldn't get drunk, despite the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. Bucky himself was nicely buzzed, to the point where he could turn around to face Steve and ask, completely devoid of any embarrassment,

"You wanna strip for me?"

For a moment, Steve just gaped at him. Then he swallowed, and, slowly, reached up and began undoing his tie. He fumbled a bit as he got it undone and hung it over the doorknob before starting to unbutton his shirt and pull that off as well. Bucky waited until he had dropped it to the floor before stepping in, sliding his palms up Steve's hard torso admiringly.

"What the fuck," he breathed. "I still can't believe this is real." He remembered cold winters when Steve would spend the night at his place, curled up in a cot together so Bucky could hold him close and keep his scrawny frame warm while he coughed and shivered. That had been an entirely different sort of contact between them. Bucky had always looked after Steve, always broke up his fights and cleaned up his cuts and bloody noses, helped him through his asthma attacks and the awful colds he had been so prone to catching. Part of him had still not totally reconciled with the fact that Steve would never get sick again, would never be the underdog in a fight, would never _need_ Bucky the way he used to.

But on the other hand, Bucky was starting to foster the idea that he could make Steve need him in a completely _different_ way. Starting tonight.

He dropped his hands to Steve's waistline and started undoing his belt. Steve didn't quite seem to know what to do with his hands. First they just sort of hung by his sides, and then gingerly held onto the outsides of Bucky's arms. Bucky leaned in — Steve was actually _taller_ than he was now, so he was at a perfect angle to mouth along his friend's jaw, causing Steve's breath to catch.

"You can take my clothes off, too," he suggested, sliding one of his hands into Steve's pants. Steve made a soft noise in his throat, and then he tipped his head down to press his mouth to Bucky's. Bucky deepened the kiss on contact, slipping his tongue into Steve's mouth and tasting him. Steve made another of those little sounds and then got to work on Bucky's tie and shirt, pulling them off the same way he had his own. Bucky alternated between getting Steve's pants off and stroking his cock, until Steve finally got impatient enough to kick them off himself, pausing his exploration of Bucky's mouth to lean down and hastily yank off his boots before pushing Bucky towards the bed.

"Someone's a little eager," Bucky grinned, allowing himself to be manhandled backwards until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the mattress.

"Not my fault you look so fuckin' good in a uniform," Steve countered, grabbing his chin and kissing him again. "Couldn't take my eyes off you in there — kept thinkin' about your body —"

"Yeah?" Bucky took a handful of Steve's really, really nice ass and gave it a squeeze. "Guess you've been bottlin' up that sexual tension for way too long, huh?"

"Mmm." Steve pushed him back onto the bed and then crawled on top of him. Bucky wiggled back until his whole body was on the bed and pulled Steve in close, sliding his hands down that muscular back.

"C'mere," he breathed, and kissed him again. He was quickly getting addicted to kissing Steve. Steve was inexperienced, that much was obvious, but not a bad kisser at all. He lacked initiative, but was good at following what Bucky did, parting his lips to let Bucky in or chasing back when Bucky retreated. All he needed was a little practice. "Fuck, you feel so good like this."

Steve pulled back a bit and Bucky let him go, feeling soft lips trace along his jaw. "I wanna suck you," he murmured against Bucky's skin.

Bucky felt a jolt of heat in his stomach and moan slipped out of him, unconsciously. He hadn't thought Steve would want to go there so fast. Bucky had more experience with girls than guys, yeah, but even he had messed around with the occasional dude. But this was Steve's _first_ first time, doing anything with anyone.

"You sure?" he asked, and was a little surprised to hear how breathy his voice had gotten. He cleared it a bit. "You don't hafta to do that just 'cause I did, baby, we can take it slow."

Steve moaned against him, now kissing down his neck. "I like when you call me that," he confessed, rocking his hips so Bucky could feel the evidence. "And yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I wanna try it at least — dunno if I'll be any good —"

Bucky carded his fingers through Steve's soft blond hair as he kissed lower, along Bucky's clavicle and then licking over his nipple, mimicking what Bucky had done to him earlier — a fast learner, Bucky thought in amusement even as a soft groan slipped from between his lips. Steve's hands were busy working at Bucky's pants, pulling them down his thighs and then leaning back so he could work Bucky's boots off and strip him completely. Then he paused like that, Bucky's feet up on his shoulders, both of them completely naked. Bucky licked his lips and squirmed a bit. He felt exposed in a really, really good way, and he liked the look on Steve's face as the blond gazed down at him, mouth slightly parted, face and chest flushed with arousal and lips a bit swollen from kissing.

Bucky let his legs tip open a bit, invitingly. "You still wanna get in here, or . . .?"

Steve nodded and leaned forward, setting Bucky's feet on the mattress. He got a hand around the brunet's straining cock and stroked it slowly, causing Bucky's head to drop back to the only pillow as he released a soft, "Mmm . . ." 

"Uh, you know I have no idea what I'm doing, so . . ." Bucky lifted his head back up to see Steve biting his lip and looking adorably concerned. "I'm gonna try my best but if it's awful —"

"Aw, shut up," said Bucky harmlessly. "You're gonna be perfect, baby. All you gotta do is put your mouth on me, it's gonna feel so good, you're gonna make me feel amazing — don't worry, I'll help you . . ." Bucky could feel hot breath against him and resisted the urge to push his hips towards his best friend's face. "Fuck, Stevie please — I wanna feel you — " He broke off into a groan as Steve gave a cautious first lick, right under the head of his cock where he was already starting to leak. "Mm, baby yeah, that's good — fuck!" Without warning, Steve had taken his whole cockhead into his mouth and begun to suck. He pulled off just as fast.

"Shh!" he hissed, glancing worriedly at the door. "Jesus, Bucky."

"Sorry." Bucky's voice was low and breathy as Steve ducked his head to continue his ministrations. "Didn't mean to . . . wasn't expecting . . . oh, _fuck_." The word was exhaled in a moan this time. Steve was a _really_ fast learner, using a combination of what Bucky had done to him as well as using his mouth and tongue to work Bucky's cock the way he had with his hand earlier, tonguing the slit and turning his head to get that twisting motion he'd achieved with his wrist before. He couldn't take Bucky very deep, but he made up for that with a blissful suction in combination with pumping his hand along the rest of Bucky's shaft. "Oh . . . oh god . . . fuck, Steve, that's so good, mmm . . . you're doing so well, baby, fuck —"

Steve gave a soft "hmmm" of appreciation at the praise and starting taking Bucky deeper, little by little, sliding his mouth up and down along his length. Bucky gripped the sheets with both hands as his body twisted in pleasure, until Steve had to take a firm grip on his hip to keep him still. He tried to keep his volume down, but Bucky had never been a quiet one in bed, and there was something incredibly erotic about the fact that the mouth currently sucking his cock was _Steve's_ , that _Steve_ kept flicking those baby blues up to check the response to what he was doing, that _Steve_ was the one touching him and pleasuring him and making him feel so fucking good.

"Fucking Christ, Steve, yeah . . . unh!" He caught what would've been a shout and managed to cram it into a choked groan instead. " _Oh_ , right there, do tha — ah! Do that again, with your tongue, that . . . mmm, fuck, yeah." He got lost in the heat and the wet friction for a moment, panting, and then managed to get more words out. "Steve — Steve, how f-far do you wanna . . . How much do you wanna . . . hah . . ."

Steve licked a stripe up his cock and then murmured, lips pressed to Bucky's cockhead like he didn't want to leave it unattended for even a moment, "You want more?"

His voice was deep and husky and it was driving Bucky crazy. "Want you to finger me," he gasped out. "If you, if you're okay with that — bet your fingers would feel so good, wanna feel you inside me . . ."

"Oh god," Steve breathed. "Yeah, yeah let's try that. Um . . ." He paused, clearly trying to figure out how to go about doing it.

"My pants," Bucky said, gesturing to where Steve had tossed them on the ground. "In the pocket, there's some oil, we need that."

Steve scooped them up, digging around before procuring the small bottle Bucky had confiscated earlier; he'd self-deprecatingly berated himself for being so hopeful and overeager when he'd taken it, but now he silently thanked his more optimistic half. Luckily, Steve didn't comment on his preparedness and simply opened the bottle, squeezing some of it out onto his fingers.

"Start with one," Bucky instructed as Steve slipped a hand down between his legs. "Not too fast, it's — ah — it's been a while since, um . . ." He lost his train of thought as Steve's fingers circled his opening teasingly.

"You've done this before?" Steve sounded surprised. "What another guy, I mean?"

Bucky closed his eyes and nodded, breath catching as Steve started to gently nudge one finger in. "Yeah, there's been a few I messed around with . . . only let one of them fuck me, guy I knew when I worked down at the docks. Had a real nice cock . . . not as big as yours though . . ." 

He could feel Steve's gaze on his face and wondered what the blond was making of this information, that Bucky had been around with other guys; wondered if it bothered him to hear about it. But then Steve was asking, "How many times? The guy from the docks?"

The finger in his ass pushed a bit deeper and then started to move in and out, just a suggestion of a thrusting motion, just enough to get Bucky's breathing a bit shaky as he pushed an answer out through his little moans. "Dunno . . . six, maybe seven. I started — mm — started thinkin' about you, though, when we did stuff. Said your name once when he sucked me off —" He heard Steve's breath catch. "Felt real guilty thinkin' of you like that back then, and of course he wasn't too happy . . . ah, fuck, that feels good . . . you can, auh, you can do two fingers —"

He hissed a bit at the burn when Steve obliged, and the other paused, glancing up at him with a hint of concern, but Bucky just dug his heels into the mattress and pushed his hips insistently against those fingers. Steve let out a breath and started working the second one in. 

"Did you like it?" Steve asked, and his voice sounded bit uneven, too.

"Wh-what?" Bucky gasped, momentarily forgetting everything he'd just said. All he could focus on was the gentle, persistent movement of Steve's fingers inside him.

"Getting fucked," Steve murmured. Bucky looked up, trying to focus on him. Steve's eyes were dark, his pupils blown with arousal as he stared down at Bucky spread on the bed for him. "You said you did it seven times. You liked it?"

"Unh . . . yeah . . ."

"What did it feel like?" Steve's voice was low and heated, but there was a genuine curiosity to the question as well.

"First time was — fuck — ahh, first time was kind of awful." Bucky swallowed, trying to remember as he squirmed a bit, Steve's fingers reaching deeper inside him. "Just, fuckin' hurt a lot, didn't know what we were doin'. Second time was better, we, uh, he . . . mmm, S-Steve . . ."

Steve leaned down and kissed him briefly, bracing himself with his free hand beside Bucky's head as he slowly scissored Bucky open and started to press a third finger into him. "Did it feel good?" he asked.

"Mm-hm." Bucky closed his eyes, biting into his bottom lip and nodding. "Yeah, it — it hurts a bit at first but then . . . it gets really good, feels close, feels full . . . connected, like there's nothing else. Um . . ." He tipped his head back, Steve's lips trailing up his throat.

"You want me to do that to you?" he murmured into Bucky's jaw.

Bucky made a sound that would have been embarrassingly needy if he weren't so turned on right now, and he found himself nodding fervently. "Yeah, baby, fuck — I want it, want you to fuck me."

"Yeah?" Steve's voice was soft and there was a sort of wonder in it. His fingers moved deeper, unrelentingly, drawing a long moan from Bucky. "Fuck, you look so beautiful like this. I wanna make you feel good, Buck, help me make you feel good . . ."

"Use the oil," Bucky panted out, and Steve was already grabbing it with his free hand. "Use a lot, ah, just, just start slow . . . your cock is real big, Stevie, just gotta go easy on me 'til I get used to it, 'kay?"

"Yeah." Steve kissed his mouth briefly, kissed his jaw, his cheek, his mouth again. "Yeah okay. Tell me if I do something wrong okay? Tell me, if I hurt you or something — I'm gonna be real careful but I don't know —"

Bucky reached up to hold his face, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. "You're doing fine, baby," he reassured him. "I'll tell ya, don't worry." He let his head fall back, eyes fluttering shut. "Fuck me, Steve."

Steve slid his fingers free and Bucky had a moment of uncomfortable emptiness before he felt the slippery head of Steve's cock pressing against him. He reached down to pull his legs open wider, willing himself to relax as Steve pushed past those first tight muscles and pulled from him a pained grunt that he couldn't quite contain. He licked his lips and bit down on a cry, feeling his eyes grow damp at the discomfort. It burned but it was a good burn because it was Steve, and he wanted this, and he knew Steve was going to make it good for him. He opened his eyes, and Steve's face was hovering over him, creased with concern and concentration.

"S'okay," Bucky breathed, turning his head a bit to wipe an escaped tear on the pillow. "It's good . . . it's good. Just do like you did with your fingers, just move a little, a little more each time . . . fuck, you feel good baby, I want more of you, I want more . . ."

Steve groaned and gave a couple of shallow thrusts, moving ever so slightly deeper with push in. Bucky's mouth fell open, soft sounds escaping him with every exhale, and let his legs wrap around Steve's hips as his hands slid back up to clutch his shoulders. Steve was panting against his neck, his thrusts slowly building up to a good rhythm. Bucky held onto him, the pain in his ass fading and gradually giving way to pleasure. Steve took his time, fucking him slowly and letting him adjust until Bucky could take him all the way in long, deep thrusts that had his head falling back in pleasure, soft noises spilling unbidden from his lips. He felt open, exposed, but full and close and warm, warmer than he'd been in months, closer than he'd ever felt to anyone.

"More?" Steve asked, pressing kisses up his neck and jawline as his hips began to speed up.

"Yeah," Bucky moaned. "Yeah, harder . . . fuck, baby, fuck me, m-make me feel . . . Ah, just you, just you, Steve, make me forget e-everything, fuck, I just want you — " His voice broke into a breathy whimper. He wanted to forget everything else, forget where he was, this fucking war, the things he'd seen, things he'd done, the torture and the experiments — he closed his eyes, squeezing them down on hot, sudden tears. None of that mattered, Steve was here now, with him, on him, inside of him, Steve was everything and nothing else existed, nothing else mattered, just Steve and his warm hands and soft mouth and beautiful eyes, fucking him into oblivion.

"Bucky?" Steve panted into his ear. "Am I hurting you?"

He had seen Bucky's tears. Bucky licked his lips and shook his head. "No . . . m'fine baby. Feels good . . . do it like this, like this . . ." He pushed Steve's hands to his hips, encouraging him to lift Bucky and bend him up until he had him at an angle off the bed. Bucky wasn't hugely experienced, but he knew where that spot was inside him, the one that really _would_ make him forget everything, and he wriggled a bit, changing the angle a bit until —

"Fuck!" Steve's hips stuttered with surprise when Bucky arched off the bed with a cry. "Right there, _fuck_ , Steve, right there, don't stop —"

"Yeah, here?" Steve's voice came out in a groan.

"Yeah, _fuck_! Oh god, Steve, _Steve_ —"

"Bucky, _shhh_." Steve pressed a hand over the brunet's mouth, stifling his sounds as he twisted with pleasure. "Jesus, Buck . . . oh my god. That feels good, huh?"

"Mm-hm . . . mm-hmm . . . " His voice fell apart into broken whimpers with every thrust. Steve fucked into him harder and Bucky reached for his own cock, hard and leaking against his stomach. "Steve . . . Steve, fuck, I — love you, Steve, I love you, fuck me, fuck me . . ."

"Bucky, I . . . I . . ." Steve was staring down and Bucky couldn't look at him, suddenly terrified — what if he'd gone too far, what was he thinking, what was he saying, Steve was hitting that spot inside him with every thrust and he couldn't think, couldn't think, couldn't — "Fuck — love you too, Buck, course I do. Was always you, can't believe — always, Jesus, even when I was a scrawny nobody and I had nothing I always had you. Fuck, Bucky, yeah, I love you, I love you . . ."

"Oh god —" Bucky was so close it only took about ten more seconds of stroking himself before he was coming, crying out a shattered version of Steve's name.

"Holy fuck," Steve breathed, and his thrusts became less pointed, faster and shallower and more frenzied. "God, Bucky — auh, auh, I'm gonna —"

Bucky pulled Steve in close and kissed him deeply as the blond went taut above him, groaning into his mouth and shuddering. Bucky ran a hand along his back, stroking him through it. Steve slumped on top of him, breaking their kiss to catch his breath. Bucky just held onto him, caressing his back and his hair and holding him close.

For a while they just lay together. Steve eventually had to roll onto his side when his weight became uncomfortable, but he wrapped his arms back around Bucky like not touching him would be too much distance. Bucky was uncharacteristically silent; he felt raw and bare, and then covered and protected by Steve, and warmer than he could ever remember . . .

Eventually, Steve kissed his hair and asked softly, "Do you want to talk?"

Bucky let out a breath. He wanted to share with Steve, he did, wanted to share everything with him, but he wasn't ready to go there with _himself_ ; didn't know how to start talking about it, didn't know if he'd ever be able to. He shook his head the slightest bit. "Just hold me," he murmured. "I missed you. Thought about you every night, when I was . . . through the tougher parts, you know. Thought about holding you like this. Wished you were there with me, but so fuckin' glad you weren't. Got me through the worst nights, knowin' you were safe back home. Well." He let out a tired huff of a laugh. " _Thinkin'_ you were. Shoulda known better."

Steve kissed his hair again, and then his forehead, nose, and his mouth. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'm here now."

Bucky sighed, feeling himself start to drift. "Don't go anywhere," he mumbled.

"I won't," Steve promised.

•••

 

Come play with me on [tumblr](theshadowofthewaxwing.tumblr.com)


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